I thought I would be better at blogging as writing is something I enjoy and I always have about 3000 things going through my head at once but I find myself busy with so many other things and I put blogging off. Anyhow, I am quite embarrassed by my last post with my promise to blog more.

We found out a little more than a month ago that in November we will move to Stuttgart,Germany. Mark and I are stoked! We have always wanted to have the opportunity to live in Europe. I just returned to Japan a week ago and as of today we have 31 days until we leave for Germany. I am excited to begin our life in Germany but I am sad to say goodbye to my friends and neighbors in Japan. I have the best friends and neighbors here and I know it will be difficult to say goodbye. Also, I'm going to miss our little duplex house. I really believe you leave a little piece of your heart behind each time you move. God provided us with a wonderful home here. I couldn't have picked a better home myself. I will miss it.

For those of you that haven't heard, I am planning on flying my horse to Germany. This comes after much thought and prayer and I feel good about the decision. I considered selling her but with the way the market is right now it could be months and months before she sells. So instead of paying money for training and board for her in the US, I thought it made more sense to pay board for her in Germany and actually be able to enjoy her. This is a lifelong dream of mine and I have to pinch myself to believe it's true. Of course, she's not there yet so I am holding my breath until the moment she steps off the plane. There will obviously be allot to blog about and I have every intention of having a blog dedicated to my experiences,training and education in Germany.

Outlet

I started this blog two years ago and like many things in my life I didn't follow through with it like I had planned. Why this has been a pattern in my life I'll never know but I am determined to start over and for once finish something that I started. Afterall, I have more than enough to blog about. My children offer endless subject matter and my own messed up quest to find out "who I really am" certainly leaves open the opportunity to share my thoughts and feelings on life in general. So with that said, today I proclaim to all that I will be regularly posting "blogs" on this site. They may not all be pretty, maybe not always entertaining but I see this as a way to express who I am and hopefully learn more about myself in the end.

Drive Me To Drinking

This morning as I was sipping my first cup of caffeinated bliss, it occurred to me how dependant I have become on the drinks in my life. Sure, I drank coffee before I had kids and I would have an occasional glass of wine before bed, but these drinks carry so much more meaning to me today than seven years ago. In these days of hectic school mornings, soccer practice, ballet lessons, cranky toddlers and numerous other commitments, I find myself reaching for a glass of something to help me cope. Now, before you jump to conclusions, let me explain myself.
Every morning I creep down the stairs at a snail's pace to push the "on" button to my coffeemaker. I then proceed wearily back up the stairs to do the unthinkable... wake my slumbering children.Then begins the process of dressing said offspring which rarely ever goes smoothly. Dressed for the day,my chipper children bounce down the stairs and begin placing their orders for breakfast.Still half asleep, I manage to pour Jack's cereal, toast Emma's waffles and mix Faith's chocolate milk. Alas, the time comes when all three children are busy stuffing their sweet angelic faces with Lucky Charms and Aunt Jemima and I can finally sit and enjoy my first cup of joe. Immediately, a rush of warmness flows through me and I melt into my recliner to catch a glimpse of the morning news (Fox & Friends,of course). Before too long the kids are done with breakfast and so begins the inevitable clean up that succeeds any meal. I don't mind too much, I got my fifteen minutes of solitude with my friend Mr. Coffee and Fox News.
Around lunchtime I usually drink several glasses of water to counter the several cups of coffee I consumed earlier.I know water is good for me but it's one of those drinks I drink from necessity or guilt. By mid afternoon, depending on whether I need a "pick me up" or a "calm me down", I'll reach for either a Red Bull (a Monster if I'm in bad shape) or a soothing cup of chamomile-rose bud tea. This mid afternoon beverage helps me through the slump of the day and prepares me to plow through the various after school activities.
After toting the kids all over the base, I am barely hanging on to my scruples and yet there are two remaining obstacles left in the day... dinner and bedtime. Post soccer, ballet, swim or whatever, my brood is HUNGRY. I frantically prepare the night's meal with gazelle like intensity, I can see the light at the end of the proverbial tunnel. Following dinner, I plop the kids in the tub and race downstairs to begin the post dinner clean up. Almost finished cleaning I can hear the kids screaming and the sound of water being strewn onto the tile floor. As I hover over the tub,back and shoulders aching, I wonder why no one has invented an automatic kid washer, you know, like in The Jetson's? By the end of story time I can barely see straight, my scruples are MIA and my head is pounding. I tuck each child into his or her bed and I as I gingerly close the door to their rooms I can hear the chorus from "Halajehuh" playing in my head.
Finally, peace and quiet surround me. The world is once again my oyster but all I want to do is pour a glass of my favorite red and veg in front of the television. I consider having another glass, after all I need it, but instead I savor the last sip of my Syrah and commit myself to bed. Just as I am drifting off to sleep, Emma barges into my room covered in vomit... guess it will be me and Mr. Coffee again tonight.

Poser

Wow! Sometimes it's hard to believe that I,Hillary Andrews, am a mom,a mother of three to be exact. I'm, like, only a few years older than these guys and yet I am the all authoritative,all knowing, wise mother...or so people think. Truth is, I feel like a kid myself most of the time, insecurities and all. I keep waiting for everyone to find this out but so far I have them all fooled. Today for instance, I picked Faith up from school two hours early, mostly because I wanted to but also so we could get her glasses fixed. It feels surreal to hold the power to excuse someone from an institution such as elementary school.I kept waiting on the Principal to block our exit as we were walking out the door.The amazing thing is no one questioned me or gave me a second thought. They did not see through me! Don't get me wrong, there are times when I actually think I've got all this parenting stuff down, and I deserve the title of "Mom." I am quickly brought back down to earth when Emma has a complete and total meltown in the middle of the cereal isle while Jack is dumping the contents of my purse onto the floor and I want to cry for my mommy! Someday I hope I will arrive at this place in motherhood when I can own the "mom" title and not feel like a poser everytime I attend a parent/teacher conference or a PTA meeting...someday.