Drive Me To Drinking

This morning as I was sipping my first cup of caffeinated bliss, it occurred to me how dependant I have become on the drinks in my life. Sure, I drank coffee before I had kids and I would have an occasional glass of wine before bed, but these drinks carry so much more meaning to me today than seven years ago. In these days of hectic school mornings, soccer practice, ballet lessons, cranky toddlers and numerous other commitments, I find myself reaching for a glass of something to help me cope. Now, before you jump to conclusions, let me explain myself.
Every morning I creep down the stairs at a snail's pace to push the "on" button to my coffeemaker. I then proceed wearily back up the stairs to do the unthinkable... wake my slumbering children.Then begins the process of dressing said offspring which rarely ever goes smoothly. Dressed for the day,my chipper children bounce down the stairs and begin placing their orders for breakfast.Still half asleep, I manage to pour Jack's cereal, toast Emma's waffles and mix Faith's chocolate milk. Alas, the time comes when all three children are busy stuffing their sweet angelic faces with Lucky Charms and Aunt Jemima and I can finally sit and enjoy my first cup of joe. Immediately, a rush of warmness flows through me and I melt into my recliner to catch a glimpse of the morning news (Fox & Friends,of course). Before too long the kids are done with breakfast and so begins the inevitable clean up that succeeds any meal. I don't mind too much, I got my fifteen minutes of solitude with my friend Mr. Coffee and Fox News.
Around lunchtime I usually drink several glasses of water to counter the several cups of coffee I consumed earlier.I know water is good for me but it's one of those drinks I drink from necessity or guilt. By mid afternoon, depending on whether I need a "pick me up" or a "calm me down", I'll reach for either a Red Bull (a Monster if I'm in bad shape) or a soothing cup of chamomile-rose bud tea. This mid afternoon beverage helps me through the slump of the day and prepares me to plow through the various after school activities.
After toting the kids all over the base, I am barely hanging on to my scruples and yet there are two remaining obstacles left in the day... dinner and bedtime. Post soccer, ballet, swim or whatever, my brood is HUNGRY. I frantically prepare the night's meal with gazelle like intensity, I can see the light at the end of the proverbial tunnel. Following dinner, I plop the kids in the tub and race downstairs to begin the post dinner clean up. Almost finished cleaning I can hear the kids screaming and the sound of water being strewn onto the tile floor. As I hover over the tub,back and shoulders aching, I wonder why no one has invented an automatic kid washer, you know, like in The Jetson's? By the end of story time I can barely see straight, my scruples are MIA and my head is pounding. I tuck each child into his or her bed and I as I gingerly close the door to their rooms I can hear the chorus from "Halajehuh" playing in my head.
Finally, peace and quiet surround me. The world is once again my oyster but all I want to do is pour a glass of my favorite red and veg in front of the television. I consider having another glass, after all I need it, but instead I savor the last sip of my Syrah and commit myself to bed. Just as I am drifting off to sleep, Emma barges into my room covered in vomit... guess it will be me and Mr. Coffee again tonight.